Darling I wish you were here...

Just one of those days when I dedicated a song to her cos I really miss her a lot :(

The Perfect Gown

A wedding isn't complete without the perfect gown. Every woman has dreamed about this day since she was a teen. They know exactly what they want and will never settle for anything less.

Amy too had the perfect gown she always wanted. But she could never find one. Since the last two days she has been visiting a lot of tailors and gown makers but has not been very happy with the work. Last night she was very sad and felt dejected. I never seen her so sad. I wished I was with her. I couldn't see her like this. So I thought I'll pray with her. She was surprised to hear that from me. But last night I prayed on the phone that, she would get exactly what she wanted, everything just the way she desired and at a great price too. For some reason, deep inside I felt my prayers were gonna be answered.

Amy called me today while she was shopping. She was super excited and happy. It was so evident from her voice. With a loud and squeaky voice she told me how she finally found her gown with the exact detailing she was looking for. It was so exciting to see her get so excited and happy. I am thankful to God, for he is so faithful to provide us even with these little materialistic desires of ours.

awwwwww :*

Disclaimer: The above picture has got nothing to do with our beautiful romantic relationship we share. It's purely fictional and any resemblances to any person or character is purely coincidental. I put there cos its funny.. lol

So last night we had a very cute moment. I was very busy the whole day and we never got to spend time talking to each other on the phone. We did text each other a couple of times, but didn't speak. So I hit the bed by 11pm when Amy texted me asking if she could call. I told her everyone was sleeping so I can't talk to her but I surely can text and so could chat. She requested just for 2 mins so she could wish me good night. And I was like, "aah.. alright."

She didn't sound too good. She sounded upset. So I asked her what was bothering her. She denied she was upset and made up excuses that she was missing her friends and Melbourne. After nearly ten minutes of asking her, she finally opened up. She told me in a very cute but sad tone, "We did not talk at all today and now when I wanna just hear your voice and wish you good night, you are making up excuses that everyone is sleeping.." Oh I can't tell you, how cute it was to hear that. Amy sometimes says some things that can totally bowl me over.. haha.. I know it sounds too sizzy.. but its Amy. I don't care if I do. I love her very much. And this was one of the cutest moments I ever had with her. So then I went to the kitchen and spend a good half hour with her. She was so happy and super excited. I really wish I was around. Would never miss the opportunity to grab her tight, kiss her and tell her how much I love her :)

Can't get better than this :)

Finally leaving 'God's own country' today for 'Aamchi Mumbai Changli'.. It's been one of the most beautiful vacations i have had in a long time.. I got engaged to beautiful girl, discovered my royal roots, tasted some delicious food from the North & South of Kerala, donated my blood to some promising mosquitoes who suck unto their bellies bust and die, enjoyed some awesome weather, discovered some new bugs, allowed some of them to bite me, some did without my consent.. Yeah all in all had a great time.. But can't wait to get back to Mumbai, the city that never sleeps. My home sweet home... :)

That was my status on FB today morning. I was quite excited about coming back to Mumbai. But I also was sad about leaving Amy. I knew I was gonna miss her bad. I was really missing her already. I just wished if I could hug her one last time before I left Kerala. She was gonna come to the Ernakulam station to bid me goodbye. I asked her if I could hug her before we see each other the last time for the year. And she was worried that our parents might find that awkward. So she politely declined though expressing that if he had a chance she would love that.

Now on the journey I was complaining to my mom about how these trains are so disgustingly dirty and that maybe I should cancel our train tickets (honeymoon) and get flight tickets instead. My mom thought I was being unrealistic & cribbing for no reason. Hence, she suggested that when we reach Ernakulam I could ask Amy to inspect the train and see if she finds it disgusting too. Mom suggested I cancel the tickets only if Amy finds it bad too. I texted Amy about this and she agreed.

When we reached Ernakulam, to my surprise Amy meets and greets my parents and my brother. But she never greeted me. I felt that quite strange. But 2 mintues later I asked her if she wanted to check the train and see how she felt about it. Now I was so engrossed in showing her around, that it completely slipped out of my mind that I was alone with Amy while our parents were standing outside the train on the platform. Right then Amy asked me, "Babe can I hug you?". I was sorta blank. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know if I should be embarrassed for letting a girl take the first step or just go with the flow and give her a hug. I chose the latter. haha... I just grabbed her so tight and we both gave each other a beautiful hug. Now I have hugged a lot of my girlfriends like a thousand times. And you feel nice, comforted, warm when you do that. But it's so different when you hug someone you love the most, and miss the most. It's the most amazing feeling ever!! and yeah my dad couldn't get any better than that :)

When the train left the station, she texted me that she loved me a lot and how she missed me. It was terrible. I have never missed someone like that in 7 years. I had sorta forgotten how it feels to miss someone. But now I had rediscovered how terrible it is.

Alright, suited up.. now what??

Just like the last two days, I did not sleep tonight either. I was up by 5 am and didn't know what to do. Today is the day I was getting officially engaged. I suited up and was ready by 9 am. We arrived at the venue by 10.30 am. Quite honestly I felt grand as I was escorted in my cousin's car to the venue with all the people waiting eagerly to have a glimpse of me. Well not for too long, the focus of their attention quickly changed to Amy, who had dressed up in a beautiful maroon saree. She looked absolutely stunning. I never thought that the engagement was sorta organized in a very grand way. Had it been known, we could have rehearsed our parts well. So we both were sort of clueless on what we are to do. Anyway skipping the details, it all went well and before we could realize what happened, we were engaged.

One thing that was quite stressful was to maintain a smiling face all throughout. We had about 250 guests for the engagement. I do not know how can we pull this off with 600 guests at the wedding reception. Finally we met with all the guests and proceeded for lunch. But that was the end. Before we could finish our lunch, the photographers hurried us into having a photo shoot done. It was a grueling one hour shoot. They made some do some embarrassing poses for the shoot. Most of them looked like a poster for an upcoming 'Mollywood' flick.

We finished the shoot by 3pm and immediately left home. I took my ring off (and kept it safe) the moment I reached home. I never thought I would get picked off for this.. lol. Charlie Brown took us out for a Cochin tour and dinner in the end. It was really nice. Charlie had come with his wife and Amy, whereas I came went with my brother. Amy was quick to find that my ring was gone from my finger. She was even more quick to point that to her brother. Surprisingly Charlie Brown was super cool about it. Phew!!

We didn't have an agenda so we went for a boat trip, followed by some shopping (window shopping for some) at a nearby mall and then lovely dinner at a Indo-Continental restaurant. It was the second best day in my whole trip so far and I know I am gonna miss it. Tomorrow I am going to be heading back home to the village, but I do not want to. I just wished I could linger in this city a lil longer.

Awwww... I will.. I willl... :)

The ring I proposed Amy with :)

Today was the BEST DAY EVER!!! hahaha.. I can't even settle down to tell you the whole story. Well the day began at 5am for me.. lol.. I thought Amy would know Cochin, as she is from here. But she doesn't know anything except for the marine drive here.. lol. So it was upto me. Thanks to Google, I began looking for some romantic locations in Cochin. I found many people directing to Fort Kochi (Cochin) for most of the romantic locations. I saw this beautiful waterfront restaurant named Arca Nova restaurant in the Fort House Hotel. It looked beautiful on their website. I made up my mind to take her to 'Arca Nova restaurant' in Fort Kochi. I studied the Cochin map so I knew how exactly I needed to get there.  So by 8am I was all set to take my lady out for a romantic lunch :)

I picked her up by about 11pm and we headed off to the Boat Jetty Ferry. Now when we went there, we were like friends. We did not even hold hands or hug each other. Even while we waited for the boat to arrive, which is about 30 mins, we did not even lay a finger on each other. We looked far from a couple.. haha.. I tried holding her hand by saying how tiny fingers she had, but that didn't last long.. lol..

So we got there finally, and she got a lil comfortable with me and began to slightly hold my hand on every alternate steps we walked.. haha.. still not totally comfortable with each other, we loved each other's company. Just to be walking with each other. Quite honestly, it was quite a bummer to see the waterfront side. It wasn't as grand and beautiful as I had seen on their website. The water was awfully dirty with all the rubbish floating on it. Amy didn't quite like it, neither did I. So the host showed us around to an indoor location, which was quite beautiful. We were the only Indian people there, everyone else were foreign nationals. We placed our order, and while were waiting, I got a moment when we were the only two people in the whole restaurant... Pretending like something bit me, I looked down below the table. Amy too joined me in searching for something she didn't know.. haha.. slowly I got down onto my knees and I proposed to her.. "Miss Amy Sparrows, will you marry me?". She was motionless.. she didn't utter a word. I asked her again.. she still was still.. I asked her, "Babe, yes or no?" and she was like, "omg!! definitely yes, but why did you do all of this.. omg!!" Then I put the ring on her finger, n kissed her. She was so adorable, she got so shy that she couldn't look at my face, and took a menu card lying nearby and covered her face. She said she was too shy to look at my face. It was the most adorable thing ever. Then she asked me to shift inside, got up from across me and sat besides me. She couldn't stop holding my hand.. I still don't understand the power of that one act, that made her so super comfortable with me, that she couldn't let go off my hand.

We had a wonderful meal, and headed off back to our base. This time we walked like a couple. We looked like a couple. It was so different from how we had walked in to this place. We had our fingers locked into each other's and our eyes fixed on each other pretty much most of the time. When we were waiting for the boat to arrive, she held me by the waist and rest her head on my chest. I, not being an experienced man with dating, took a while to reciprocate to that. It is an amazing feeling to be loved and when the love is expressed freely.. All through the boat ride, we couldn't take our hands off each other. It wasn't the same. All of a sudden we were super comfortable with each other, pretty much the same way we are on Skype.

We reached back to the Jetty by 4pm. I was already late by half hour. So I got a rickshaw and Amy got into it. The rickshaw driver was having a cup of tea so we had to wait until he finished it. I was standing outside the rickshaw, when Amy walked towards me and grabbed me gently by my shirt, looked straight into my eyes and told me, "I don't mind if we don't get home by 4pm." That was one of the best moments I had with her. I looked into her eyes as she was piercing into me. I felt like she was calling onto my heart, asking it to understand how she is longing to be with me. Amy has really beautiful eyes. Its' big and round.. and they are pierce into your soul, but in a good way. I just love looking into her eyes. Looking into her eyes tempt me to kiss her, but I haven't done that so far.. haha.. I politely turned her request down as I had promised her dad I would get her home by 4pm.

So like a good lad, I kept my word, brought Amy back him on time (actually late by 30 mins). Captain was quite happy that I kept my word. Charlie Brown and his wife too were in Cochin then and I got to meet them. It was nice meeting Charlie Brown in real. He is a lot different than how he appeared to be on the call with me.. haha.. It was really hard for me to say goodbye to Amy after such a wonderful day, but I had to leave. I called her up after I got home and We couldn't just stop telling each other how much we love and missed each other.. :)

Finally, our eyes meet..

The last few days have been pretty awful. I have been really frustrated about a lot of things especially how things aren't working out as I had planned it to. It's really annoying when nothing works out like how you intended it to be. I wanted to take Amy out for lunch on Friday, so I get my time alone with her, enough to propose to her and make her feel special. But she had not asked her dad yet and it was really annoying me. She was apparently waiting for the 'right moment'. It's been over 3 weeks and she was still waiting for the right moment. Finally out of frustration I called her dad yesterday. But her mom answered the phone. I told her how I would like to take Amy out for lunch, and if I had the permission to take her. Mom said she could ask Amy and Dad and get back to me. It was frustration again to see things not happening my way. What's worse is nothing was still certain. Anyway ten minutes after I finished my call with Mrs. Sparrows, Sir Captain called me. He asked if I had called him. I was too scared to ask him myself, but after gathering a lot guts I did ask him. I asked him, "Sir, would it be cool if I took Amy out for lunch? I wont take her for too long and would get her back by 4pm?". To my surprise the captain replied, "sure, you may but get her home by 4pm." Then he said how he loved it that I didn't do things on my own and that i was disciplined enough to ask his permission. I guess that' was the first good thing that happened on my trip so far.. :)

For some reason I knew, this was it. The beginning of all the good to come.. haha... and I was quite true about it. We (parents, bro n me) left to Cochin early today morning to The Captain's place. Now its been quite hot all this while, but it rained today. And the weather was simple splendid. It was cool and very pleasant. This totally made my day to begin with. I never felt so cheerful inside of me since I had landed in Kerala.. Reaching Cochin I saw it was nothing like I had imagined it to be. Cochin was sorta like Mumbai but a little less populated, with stinking rich people & their flashy cars, and the absolute abuse of lane discipline. For some reason the lane indiscipline didn't bother me much. I was quite fascinated by the fancy cars that it was flooded with. At one point I saw two Audi A8 driving parallel to each other with a BMW tagging behind them.

We got a little lost trying to find Captain's place, but managed to get there before 1.00pm just enough to make it to lunch time. Amy was waiting to see me for real and so was I. But when we did meet indeed, she was super nervous. haha... She was way prettier than I had seen her in her pics and on Skype. But she was so nervous that she spoke to everyone - my dad, mom & bro but except me. Her mom too told her how she has been waiting for me all this while, why not talk to me now? They made her sit besides me, but she was too shy to even last for 10 secs. Poor Amy, I found that super cute though. When, after lunch, I sneaked into a chair besides her, she got up and ran away from there. It was quite a funny sight. By 3pm my parents left back to their homeland but I decided to stay with her. Slowly she began to get comfortable with me and began talking to me. Soon she got all of her baby pics and began showing it to me. This was a nice moment, as we began to get comfortable to each other. Not comfortable enough to hand hands yet though. haha...

I left their place by about 8.30pm. I went to my cousin's place a little away from Captain's home. As soon as I reached my cousin's place, I called Amy. She looked like she was waiting for me to call. She said she missed me terribly. I joked with her, about how she never spoke to me the whole time I was with her but now she missed me. But this time when we spoke it was different. Since we had met each other, I had begin to like her more. :)

The day doesn't end there.. I realized that my brother in law is a musician too. And he plays both the keyboard and the guitar and had Yamaha Guitar &  Keyboard. My bro and I got super excited.. finally we got to play some guitar. We spend a couple of hours playing music. I played Amy's favorite song 'Nila Nila'. I even called Amy and sang the song to her.. haha.. All in all.. today was a wonderful day. Finally I feel I am indeed in God's own Country.

Spooky?? 

This might sound spooky but my ex girlfriend left me on 31st Oct 2005 and I met Amy for the first time on 1st Nov 2012. Do the math its exactly 7 Years. The Bible talks about seven as the number of completeness - On the 7 day he rested, The rainbow has 7 colors, Music has 7 notes, The 7 crystal stems, The 7 levels of periodicity in the Period table of the elements. So I believe its way of God making this relationship more fun and also by confirming that my wait is over and my Rebekah was here..Unbelievable? Believe it :P lol

God's own country.. Behold!!

That's what you get when you google for 'kerala'. But that's not what you really encounter when you visit the state. I left for God's Own Country on the 29th of this month. I was really excited about coming over here as I will be meeting Amy in a couple of days, but the first two days of have been quite a bummer. To start with our train 'Netravati Express' was awful. I swear this is the last time I am traveling in this train. Or maybe second last time as I have already booked my return tickets too on this god forsaken train.

Let me describe you what the train is like. Its dirty, stinking, with coffee, tea and what not stains. It's filled with cockroaches and mice. I had a disgusting moment while talking to Amy. I was in a nice super romantic mood. Talking sweetness to Amy, resting my head on the window, when I a lil mouse just walked through between the glasses in front of my face. I felt like scratching my face. It was that disgusting. Totally ruined the romance. Anyway the train ride wasn't comfortable. The AC wasn't cool enough, we kept sweating it out throughout the journey. Though my brother and I tried to have a lot of fun.. we poked fun at our miserable condition, and how I ordered pretty much every food item i saw to eat.

We got to this place yesterday evening, our train wasn't pretty much on time, maybe delayed by 10 minutes. But a 10 minute delay isn't much. I was happy to get home, but not for too long. After spending nearly 30 hours in the awful train, I wanted to take a good shower, but it was all muddy water in the tap. I don't understand how? But its quite a bummer. I thought that was it, but no.. some more hell was in store for us. When we went off to bed, our whole body began to scratch. I thought maybe its dust, so got up in the middle of the night and switched the lights on & began to dust it. And we found a live worm roaming on the bedsheets.. it was the most disgusting thing ever. I got up.. and slept on the couch in the living room. It wasn't a comfortable sleep at least it was a bug free one.

Welcome back home baby :*

So finally I got a call from her confirming she is back home safe and sound.. also today is our 6 month anniversary. So everybody raise a toast, break a leg, have some fun and pray for us.. I am signing off for the day leaving you with a dedication on our 6 month anniversary.. Cheers!

This is Awesome!!! :P

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! this is so cool.. I thought I would never hear from her until she send me this picture from Singapore Airport. She got access to a public computer and we chatted for a couple of minutes. She had a safe flight and has company too.. I am glad she isn't alone. This is awesome.. God is awesome.. haha.. I thought today probably will be the first day we don't get to talk to each other in the last 6 months. There has not been one day that we don't spend at least an hour talking to each other, So definitely not talking to her for a day is something I can imagine of.

This is awful!!

There are times you goof up.. of which times when you don't care and times you wished you never goofed up this bad.. Amy's flight was to depart at 11.30am her time (which is my 6am) today. I miscalculated and thought it was 7am, only to find her text at 5.50am saying she is on board and will meet me soon when she arrives in India. My heart sank reading that text. How can I goof up so bad?? I did not get to talk to her, nor wish her a safe flight back home. And to top it up today will be the first day in the last 6 months that we have not chatted with each other. This sucks!! :(

Awwwww... ur cho cute :*

You know what's best, when you have a doubt? or if you are concerned about something? well, just speak it out. Never keep it in your heart. It's so much easier to deal with it. I told Amy today how I have been upset with her since the last few days cos she is so busy. I also told her how I know she is not at fault but I still am upset with her & her friends. And I should say she is so adorable.. haha.. she just says some of the most beautiful things that can melt your heart. She is so genuine and pure that no matter how upset you are, you can't but help to give her a hug and just say you love her.. :)

Can't wait to meet her, our engagement day is nearing.. 12 days to go.. its quite exciting :)

Grrrrrrr..

Lately I been getting a little upset with Amy. Well not really with Amy but with her friends. Since she is leaving they always plan parties and dinner's with her and I don't get enough time with her. This week we haven't got enough time with each other. Honestly its not right on my part to be upset, but I have been. I think I have been getting very possessive of her. Maybe cos everyone else get to spend time with but me. Anyway I guess I should be fine.. I am just missing her, that's all! :)

Death is inevitable

Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange..

Amy broke the news today that, her aunt, Captain's oldest sister passed away last night. She was suffering from a lung failure. She was about 65 years or so. So I called Captain up and spoke to him for a while. There was no sign of sadness as he tried to pretend all's well with him. But he gave in away when he began to tell me more about his sister and how she was battling life for a week before she lost the battle.

One thing that really came to my mind then was, how a death can unite people. How when there is a death in the family, everyone unites together and stands for each other emotionally, physically and in every way possible. It's not easy when you lose someone, and the best part you could do is just love and be there for the other person.

WHATEVER!!!

So last night I had been out with a friend, to be more precise with a female friend, for coffee. I did ask Amy if she is cool with it and she was fine. I had a great time meeting my good old friend. When I was back Amy asked me about the evening. I said it was good and we had a wonderful time. And also that my friend asked me if we could hang out again, maye tomorrow. Amy did not like this at all. She was visibly upset. She looks really cute when she is upset. I missed watching her get upset on Skype.. haha.. So I thought il mess with her more but I soon realized things were getting bad. I tried to explain to Amy, that we were just friends and its cool if we hang out. But Amy was upset and began to ask me more about this girl and why did we have to talk so much about.. Well then I had to do what a man had to do lol. I called her up and apologized to her. And told her how much I loved her. It's really cute to see her melt away. haha...

Today morning she apologized to me and said she was totally fine with me meeting my old friends. and I was like.. awwwwww.. haha.. she is so adorable. And then she made a statement which I found super cute. She said, "I am sorry love, I never felt so possessive about you before." Now isn't that adorable (or maybe im just in love lol)

Farewell or Hen Party?

 

Saturdays are pretty awesome usually, cos its our Skype day. Everyday Saturday Amy and I skype for about 2-3 hours, sometimes even 4. Don't ask me what we do we talk about. Cos I don't remember half of the conversations we have.. haha. Anyway today We didn't get to talk much - only about 2 hours lol. She had to leave for a farewell party her friends were throwing for her. The party apparently got over by 11pm and I got her on Whatsapp. She enjoyed her time there. She told her friends gifted her something 'naughty'. I wonder what it is. Maybe I'll wait for her to surprise me ;)

No More Delays

No, that's not my desperation to meet Amy. That's the name of the debut music album by a certain Jesse Alex. Jesse Alex is my friend from a parallel universe. He just released his album today. I have heard a couple of songs.. they sound quite rad. Do check them out and yeah buy them!! don't be cheap.. haha.. if you like the music, just do the guy a favor and buy it..

 

Text Text Text

Now if the above phone was really available I would definitely buy it unlike this blondie here. Too much of texting with Amy has totally screwed up my phone. It reboots on its own when it can't handle the load and the prints on the keypad has already got scrapped off. It's really difficult to type these days, but its something you will learn to manage when you wanna talk to your loved one.. lol

Lately as we have been very busy we take out about 2 hours of our time for each other. An hour in the morning before she heads off to work and an hour or so in the evening when she is back. And texting on the phone is really a pain. Some of our most common words so far have been - awwwww, xoxoxoxoxoxooxox, :*, i love u.

Yeah it does sound a lot cheesy, but I guess falling in love is cheesy itself, so can't blame it. I been wanting to get rid of this 3k (Indian Rs) phone and get a good one. Amy too has been asking me to get one in the likes of the HTC One X or the Samsung Galaxy S3. These are damn expensive phones and I ain't sure about it yet. There are a lot of other expenses that are on my priority list like the wedding expenses, house furnishing among the most important things to do. So not sure the phone is on my list right now. But if one of you awesome readers want to buy me, you are more than welcome to... hahaha.. ;)

5 Months & going good...

Hello there, we are sorry there hasn't been much post in the last week, as we both have been very busy with our work. Today Amy and I celebrated our 5 months together. It feels good to look back to how it all began, but it doesn't feel its been 5 months. Feels like it has already been 5 decades.. haha... We have been terribly busy since the last few weeks now and haven't got much time to chat/Skype. Though we see that we spend at least an hour or two on Whatsapp and stay connected. Our Skype calls has been limited to just once a week now because of our hectic schedule. Amy is little sad about it, but she is super excited about coming home next month. Our ordeal will be over soon. Anyways without boring you guys much, here is a dedication like how we have every month :)

Happy Birthday Captain!!

 Today our dear Captain Sparrows turned 61. I called him up to wish him in the morning. He was in a very cheerful mood. He has been in a cheerful mood ever since we met. We didn't speak for long, as he knew I was at work and didn't wanna take up my time. But it was a nice small chat we had. He was quite excited about our engagement and wedding and is looking forward for it.. :)

This is a job for COMPUTERMAN!!!

Amy is not really a geek, though she is quite a gadget savvy person. Her laptop has been running awfully slow since the last few weeks. So she asked me if I could fix it when she comes to India. I like this part about Amy, when she is so innocently cute. haha.. I told her I could fix it right away. She was quite amazed and surprised to how it can be done. I asked her to install Team Viewer and logged onto her machine, and did my magic. She was very amazed at how I could fix a computer in Melbourne sitting in Mumbai.. haha.. Now while fixing her laptop, there was something cute I encountered. When I went to her downloads folder I found like a couple of dozen pictures of me. It was so sweet to know that when she misses me she just looks at these pictures haha.. I always think she can't be sweeter than she already is, but every time she does something different that just makes me go awww... :)

ONE FIVE TWO

Today Amy and I complete 5 months since we first met but like I always say it feel so much more.. :)

Here is a song that we both love on our 5 months since-we-met anniversary day!! Cheers!

Cold Feet Aye Babe?

Today like every other day was just another normal looking day.. I got up in the morning, saw a WhatsApp message on my phone from Amy wishing me good morning and expressing how much she loves me. Without brushing my teeth I grab my phone to reply to her.. and end up chatting until 8.30am (her 2pm) before she reaches work and I go back to getting ready for work. Work was pretty much usual like any other day. I got back home by 6pm and Amy was online so we started chatting.

Amy was talking well but I guessed something was bothering her. My doubts were confirmed when she wrote, "Babe there is something I need to talk about." Hoping the worst, I asked her what was it? To which she told me that she really loved me but just wasn't sure if she was ready for marriage yet. She was feeling quite awful about how she felt. But I guess its normal for every woman to feel that way. It's one decision of their life they are gonna be living with forever. It's either gonna be the greatest decision of their life or the greatest regret. Nevertheless I encouraged her and made her feel comfortable. I told her how every woman feels the same and its totally cool if she feels too.. One thing she could try to do when she felt this way was to think about the best times we have had together & all the good things of being in a relationship  - moving in together, furnishing the apartment together, hanging out and spending time, long drives & movies.. etc. Within minutes she was totally cool and back again to the old jovial Amy and couldn't stop saying how much she loved me.. haha.. man, she is adorable!

Bummer!!!

 



So as many folks know I have been losing hair and am balding, Amy decided to show me how much she loves me today by sending me this above picture with the below caption/description -

hahahahahahahaah

i love u xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Very comforting indeed.. lol

SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE!!!!

That's where we are going for our honeymoon!! Yeah Baby!! Havelock Island in the Andaman & Nicobar Islands :D For security reasons (security reasons my ass!!! lol) we aren't revealing our dates but I just booked our flights tickets and Amy is super excited about the trip. I guess she is more excited about the honeymoon than the wedding. But what really ironic here is we haven't met yet, nor are we engaged or married and we have already booked our honeymoon tickets. So yeah no escaping now!! lol

4 MONTHS!!! WOW!!

Today Amy and I complete four months of courtship/dating/whatever-u-call-it  of our relationship, and it feels awesome!!! Well four months went quite fast but it does feel so long. Sometimes Amy feels we should have been married by now lol. She is an adorable girl and I can't wait to be with her soon :) So today being our 4 month anniversary I wrote to her a really crappy poem on her Facebook wall. Here how it went -

4 months have passed so fast
In every way you've surpassed
Now you have my heart steadfast
So baby lets roll and have a blast

Yeah!!! THAT's what I wrote to her.. but surprisingly she loved it.. maybe cos she loves me so much.. haha.. and here is what she wrote to me.. :)

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows James 1:17 You are the perfect gift, my soul mate, my love, my life. I love u baby Forever thankful to god for bringing you into my life. Dedicating this song to u my love..xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Now, isn't that sweet??? Gosh! that's so like straight from the heart!! :)

Oopss.. no post???

For all those guys who do check out our blog regularly, we just wanna say we are so sorry for not updating in the last few days. We have been so busy with so many things. Amy has been busy with work and winding up stuff before she leaves in two months to come back to her hometown. She is never been so excited about quitting her job than ever. Amy will be leaving Australia on 23rd Oct. That's about two months before we get to meet each other.

I, on the other hand have been a little busy working on some project with Encube Web Solutions. It's been keeping me up at nights. But its nice getting back to meeting deadlines, working under pressure, meeting client's demands, perfection. Feels like I am back in the game.. haha.. Also been working out our wedding plans with my brother. It's been quite exciting planning out the stuff with him. There is so much work to be done and I am gonna be needing a few helping hand to take up responsiblities for this big event of my life. I am pretty sure I have such wonderful friends, I just need to give a shout and I'll have a dozen of them ready to do all they can to make this day the most beautiful day of our lives. It's so great to have good friends you can trust and rely upon. Friends who love you no matter who you are. Friends who are genuinely concerned of you.. :)

Oh yeah for all those who missed it out.. I put up our engagement countdown on the right.. haven't put the date.. do the math.. ;)


Signing off for today, here is a song that Amy dedicated to me :)

122 days since...

It's been 4 months today since I first spoke to Amy :)
I got nothing much to write today, we have been just generally chatting, skyping today and enjoying each other's company. Here is a song that I dedicated to her :)

Hello Sir Captain ;)

Today I thought I'll just ring Captain and say a quick hello. I didn't have much to talk really, but I have heard how Captain doesn't speak more than 2 mins and restricts all his calls to really important stuff.. haha.. But I was taken back for a surprise when he spoke to me for about 7 mins. That's really long for Captain. He was quite happy to talk to me and sounded excited. He asked me about my wedding preparations and stuff. It was indeed nice talking to him. Before signing off he said how he missed everyone at home here and asked to give my regards. And just as we were about to hang up, when he was signing up.. he asked me to take care.. and wished me a good night.. and said real quick 'love u' before he hung up. I wasn't sure if I heard the right thing but it was quite clear and evident. haha..

When I told Amy about it, she couldn't believe it at all. She couldn't believe Captain spoke to me for 7 mins and she couldn't believe that he said 'love u' so quick even before we got engaged. Well what can I say.. I told him, I am a man of surprises.. ;) 

Busy Busy Busy!!!!

So sorry guys.. the last few days have been really busy. I have been running about a little and get a lot of things done. Been working on a few projects, hoping to make some quick buck for the wedding. In the meanwhile our Irish-Kiwi friend Patrick O'Sullivan was admitted in the hospital on catching Dengue. He is doing fine and is home now. One of our church member passed away early this week. She was 78 years old. Amy too have been busy and we got very little time to talk to each other. But we still manage to allot at least an hour for each other and its been going good.

Sometime last week Amy and I had a fight.. our first fight. I do not want to get into the details of it but It was really my fault. The fight just got us even more closer as we began to explore each other and have familiarized with our strengths and weakness a lil more than before. Fights are awful but it just makes you stronger if you have an understanding partner. :)

Run Baby Run!!

So Amy's parents came, they saw, they liked and everything went well.. and even fixed a date of the marriage. Now the most important thing - booking the venue, decorators, caterers, sound, etc... Of all booking the venue is the most important. So we went looking for some and couldn't book at most places as they were already booked. So today we booked the venue at Mary Immaculate School ground. It's quite a beautiful place surrounded by trees and greenery with an accommodation capacity of about 1200 people. We just have about half of that, so Im guessing its gonna be a lot comfortable moving around the venue. The Caterer too is booked and he has worked out a great package with a great list of assorted food stuff (starters, main course & desert), decorations, stage backdrops, wedding cake and car. I don't wanna write everything here cos I don't wanna spoil the surprise if you are one of the guys to make it to the wedding. So I am kinda relieved as major chunk of the work is done. But we still got so much work to do - like we need to arrange for accommodation for Amy's family & friends who are gonna arrive for the wedding, we need to arrange for Amy's wedding dress, my tux, the bridesmaid's gowns, best men's suit, the flower girls, the pageboy... man there are so many things to take care.. and we thought marriage was fun.. lol

P.S. Today we complete 3 months of our relationship!! (I know, too early to be planning the wedding lol)

Encounter with the Captain cont'd.

Sorry about the late post.. I have been terribly busy entertaing the Captain and his wife, trying to be a good host. So here is what happened in the last 3 days.

Day Two

Day two started quite well. Captain walked in with his wife by about 9am and we had breakfast together. Soon after the breakfast, I took them to our church and where dad worked (My dad is a pastor) and showed them around. After which I took them out to shop. Mrs Sparrows wanted to buy some stuff for her sister and so took them to a mall. Captain hates waiting, so he left Mrs. Sparrows at the shop and asked me to take a walk with him. And so we took a walk around the mall. It was one of the beautiful moments I had with him. He told me his concerns, and his expectations. He shared his life in the navy and his experiences in life. He shared stories of encouragement, and spoke to me about relationships and marriage. His lifestyle and definition of life and love is quite conventional and different from what I believe, but there was truth in what he said. He was more practical and logical. He didn't live in a bubble like we do. He just helped me opened my eyes.

We had lunch after we got back from the mall. After lunch I took them to my new home that is coming up. Both of them were quite happy with the house I bought. Mrs. Sparrows suggested a few color scheme change for the living room and some inputs with the interiors. In the evening my brother and I had played some music for them. My brother played the guitar while I on the bass entertained them for quite sometime, maybe about a couple of hours. Captain was quite impressed with our playing skills. We learned that Captain too comes from a family of musicians and hence also does sing well. Evening we had our dinner at Silver Coin. Great place for Chicken Steak. Dinner was on me. We had some great time at the restuarant. Soon after dinner we took captain to meet with my grandmother and some relatives from my mom's side. Everyone was quite happy to meet with Captain. We left about by 11pm and dropped them at the Shooters for the night.

Day two ended better than day one on many counts. We got to know each other a little more and we ended up being good friends.


Day Three

Day three began quite early. I woke up at 6am and left home at 7am. Captain had to visit a Navy Camp in Mankhurd - a suburban neighbourhood in eastern Mumbai. We had quite an adventurous time right from the start, with catching a wrong bus to begin with. But we still continued to ply on this bus half the journey and then decided to get down at IIT Powai and take another bus. After waiting for nearly 45 mins we still couldn't get the other bus and hence decided to take a rickshaw. All the time while we were waiting we had a great time of bonding. It was raining and so we had to share an umbrella. We discussed a lot about me and my life. Discussed about Amy and her upbringing. We discussed about our wedding and the life after that. Suddenly I realized I was very comfortable with him and I could literally ask him anything I wanted. We reached the 'Bureau of Sailors' entrance. It was quite cool to see everyone wearing immaculately clean & spotless white shirt n pants.

We got home by lunch time. Captain was quite tired after the journey and decided to rest for sometime. Evening again we played some music. We sang for about 3 hours. We had some great time. We also decided a bit of marriage and selected the date as of Jan 16th 2013. Amy is scheduled to come in the last week of October, so we might engaged in early Nov before we finally take the plunge in Jan.

Dinner was at one of my aunt's place. We had a nice time of fellowship with my aunt and her family and right after dinner we drove them to the shooters & they retired to bed. Day three was also nice and pleasant. Each day it just got better and its really nice that we became great friends. Amy herself was quite surprised how Captain and I became such great pals. But as they say "All's well that end's well".


Day Four

Day Four - Final day. We left home by 9.00am to catch the train that leaves at 11.40am from LTT. I went along with mom and dad to drop them off. Before they came I was hoping they left soon, but now having known captain, and becoming great pals with him, I was hoping he would stay for long. We reached LTT by 10.30am - an hour before departure. We killed time with Captain & Mrs. Sparrows talking about Amy's childhood. How she troubled them, how they made her laugh and made her cry. They were remembering and cherishing all those moments they had with their little girl, who is gonna be leaving them to be with another man. Amy's mother's eyes were quite moist when she talking about it. I could understand it wasn't easy. Before leaving both Captain & Mrs. Sparrow gave us tight hugs, like an assurance they really loved hanging out with us and are proud to have their daughter be a part of our family. It couldn't have got any better :)

Encounter with the Captain

Today has been quite a weird day for me. Weird, cos I truly do not know how to define it. I went to work and I didn't feel like working, but I didn't have anything to work upon. So that made me sick that I do not have anything to work upon and I wanted to work on something. By afternoon I began to get this headache in the back of my head. My 5pm I left work so that I can be home and get the house all cleaned up and prepare for the big encounter day.

By about 7.10pm, Captain walked in with his Mrs. with a very warm smile after looking at me. He shook hands and greeted me and so did his wife. His wife is really adorable. We hit it off right from the start. Captain looked tough, more tougher than in his pictures. He got in and sat on the cough getting comfortable after the journey and told me, "You look so different from your pictures. You are more heavier than I thought you to be." I didn't have an answer for that, so just nod politely thinking in my head, 'wow that was quite direct.' We all continued talking for some more time and 10 mins later he looks at me and goes again, "I still can't get over the fact that you are so much more heavier than your pictures." Then he pointed out to my brother and asked me, "Can you becoome like him?" I told him, "No sir, that's boring.. I am a man full of surprises". To which he laughed, I thought he was being polite. He was quite impressed with my brother I could tell. He constantly kept on asking him about what he did and stuff.

Some time later, we began discussing about music, and he asked about my album, so I offered to play them the songs from my (to be released) debut album, 'No More Delays'. The album starts off with a punk track. Not really quite what he wanted to listen to, but he loved my voice. He couldn't believe it was me singing. He inquired about the song writing & recording process. After skipping through a few tracks he came to 'Worthy' which is my first song ever, which I wrote when I was 18 years old. He was mesmerized by 'Worthy'. 'Worthy' was the only track from the album (besides 'True Love') that he heard completely. Right after the song was over he clapped, applauding the song and said it was at par with International Standards and he really loved it. From then on, I saw he was a lil different. He began to take more seriously and began to find me interesting. And he told me, "you are quite a man of surprises."

After that we came back to the living room and had dinner. After dinner he told us about him. He told us his life story. Then he told us a little about Amy and how she told him about me. He told us about his concerns he had and then concluded with saying he was happy with me. We discussed a bit about when & where should the wedding and engagement be? All in all it was a beautiful time with him. Something that I figured about Captain was, everything I thought about him or the perception I had about him was so wrong. He is a very genuine person, quite straight forward and to the point, a very disciplined man but he also has a perfect comic timing and is quite funny. So well... yeah that went quite well.. :)

P.S. They got us a souvenir and some food stuff from down south :)

30 Hours before I forget how to breathe

So our beloved Captain Jack Sparrows has already departed from his port and is on his way to my city. He should be sitting on my couch in exactly 30 hours from now. I am not nervous or excited at the moment. I am kinda spaced out right now. Only time will tell what is in store for me. In the meanwhile in a parallel universe, Amy dedicated this song to me. It's a beautiful Malayalam song with a slightly cliched choregrapehd video. I don't understand a word what the song is about, but I love the melody and the music. Well what I thought was a pacifier wasn't really one. Next, she asked me to sing the song to her. And I did an awful job, though I tried. I just sang the first two lines of the song. I couldn't sing the whole thing. I was struggling really bad with it. So I thought about throwing a challenge. Below are the words to the song, and the video. Anyone who can sing the song flawlessly gets a free invitation to our wedding - all expense paid.

Rules:
1. You have to be a non-malayali (non-keralite) to qualify
2. Your pronouncition has to be accurate

That's it... All the best!!

LYRICS:

(girl singing a funny line)
I see a hero in you
I see my hero in you
I see a hero in you
You’re my hero..Ye hi Ye hi Ye

(Chorus)
Nila Nila Mizhiye
Nila Nila Mozhiye
Oliambine Eruthe
Eni Ente Sundhariye

Nila Nila Mizhiye
Nila Nila Mozhiye
Oliambine Eruthe
Eni Ente Janma Sakhiye

(Verse 1)
Kannadi Kadamizhi munnil
Ponnaninja Thiri neeyo
Maayaathe maayalle
Mulluthanne ennaalum
Theenai Theenai  Nee
Parayille Ente kaathil
Pathiye Nee
Jhaanalle Jhanalle Ninmaaran….

(Verse 2)
Aathmavin Thalialennum
Nalla Paathi Malaraakaan
Vannu Nee Vannu Nee
Mazhamekha Thalamudiyooode
Enne Onnu Puraraanaayi
Ninnu Nee Ninnu Nee
Niramaadum Maarivillin Arikiloo
Neeyalle Neeyalle Maayaathe

Aahhh... Yesss!!

When you have known each other for a couple of months, there comes a point where you begin to think alike and think at the same time. It's kinda strange how Amy and I who are completely two different people, with different preferences, different interests, different goals in life, different culture, different lifestyle.. everything absolutely different from each other with no similarity other than that we are Christians, got to know each other. We never thought we were meant to be because of our differences. But today its so amazing at times we don't have to tell each other what we are thinking, cos we are on the same wave length. Before I could even tell Amy what is in my head, she spits it out herself and it totally amazes me :)

Today I made her do something stupid and silly.. and yeah funny.. haha.. I love it when we chat, how she can't stop blushing. I love it when she is standing at the bus stop waiting for her bus to arrive or when walking down the street or just traveling and is chatting with me and begins to blush. People observe her and give her a weird stare and she asks me to stop doing that to her. So today I told her to just scream it out loud 'I LOVE YOU TOO' staring at her phone. She was too shy/nervous to do that. She didn't want the people around to find her a weird. But eventually she did it.. it was so cute. There wasn't many people around her so my mission wasn't accomplished really.. haha.. maybe I'll make her do this when I am around.. that should be fun now.. ;)

A thousand Years..

Today my baby, dedicated this song to me... I should admit, usually I don't really like these kinda cheesy songs. But I am beginning to love them.. haha.. I genuinely found this song really beautiful and thought would share it here.. enjoy!!

P.S. Sorry again guys... i guess its just a phase.. lol

:) :) :)

When watching a Bollywood movie (or even Hollywood sometimes) I often wondered why do the lovers always look so happy or keep smiling or just so excited. Like seriously, what's the big deal?? We all know you're in love.. but be normal.. don't have to freakin smile/giggle/blush the whole time for no apparent reason.

The other day, Amy and I were just chatting while I was walking back home. We were just chatting about absolute rubbish i don't even remember. But I couldn't stop smiling. I tried to control myself but I just couldn't. I am a guy and like all men I hate to show my sensitive side. but I couldn't believe that I just could not stop smiling or blushing. No matter how much I tried. Even when I got home, my folks figured that out something was different. My mom was quite quick to figure out it was Amy. It was quite an embarrassing moment for me. But one thing is established, when people are in love, they BLUSH!!!! Period!! lol

Whatsapp!!

When its a long distance relationship, one thing that plays a very important role in building it is - Technology. We are quite happy that we are born in the 21st century, the land of computers and fast broadband connections. Without these it would have been so difficult to stay in touch with your loved ones living away from you. So why exactly am I boring you guys with this? Well the simple answer is - I didn't have much to write about today so I thought lets make this post a lil longer so it looks like it has got some content in it.. haha..

Now to the real deal.. well Amy and I have been writing to each other on FB mail and Gtalk and Skype whenever we can. Now since we are so used to writing each other so often, this delay in waiting for an answer got kinda annoying after a while. So today Amy (after my persistence lol) upgraded to Whatsapp Messaging on her mobile. Now we are so cool again.. lol.. Now we can stay in touch like all the time. But to the contrary, now we have began to relax and our chat frequency has come down.. haha.. we used to chat about 6-7 hours on an average daily. Now its about 4-5 hours on an average. One of the reasons being we got suddenly really busy at work.. another reason could be, we are accessible to each other anytime now.

P.S. You can download it to from here.

Captain Sparrows remembers...

It's been quite sometime since I last heard from our dear beloved Sir, Dr., Mr. Captail Jack Sparrows... I wasn't really missing him or anything of that sort, but he remembered me today. He said he was looking forward to meet me and sounded quite pleasant & happy.. He is visitng me on the 17th of this month. Not too far really!! Am I nervous, worried, scared, excited?? I really don't know. Only time will tell...

P.S. He looks really happy in this picture above!

Gotcha... Finally!!

I guess this is my excuse for posting this story.. lol

Amy has been getting to know me pretty well and can catch my bluffs and know when I am joking and serious about. The good part about this is she knows me better. The bad part is I can't pull any pranks on her... But today was a classic day..

We were just generally talking about stuff, when we began discussing marriage. And I told her how in Mumbai, you need to have a health report to get married. I told her she needs to conduct certain health tests like - Sugar, Cholestrol, Thelesamia, AIDS etc. This health report is then sent to the ministry of family affairs and is signed by both the parties claiming that, we are aware of our partner's health records and take them as our husband/wife at our own risk. So that if one of us files for a divorce due to health reasons, the government can hold us responsible for it. So it's a security measure.

Amy took it quite seriously, and asked me if she had to conduct the tests in Mumbai or if she could get it done from any other city? I told her she could get it done from any doctor who was certified by the BDI (Board of Doctors of India). I couldn't believe she was falling for it. It was really hilarious. I am not sure if she had alreay begun googling for any BDI certified doctors before I felt awful at my dirty prank and confessed my crime to her.. lol..

It was so hilarious, I couldn't stop laughing about it... I still can't... Wish i could record my audio and put it up here for you guys to hear. lol

Awful Dedication Ever!!!

So sorry for the last week, there hasn't been much of an update on the blog.. We've been really busy doing some very unproductive work like chatting with each other.. haha.. We explored each other on a whole different level, and it has been amazing getting to know each other a little more.. Anyway, Today I guess I was just in a funny mood, so I dedicated this to song to Amy as my 'offering of love' hahahahahhahahaha... (try to) enjoy!!! 

 

 

Happy 1464 Hours..

You don't realize how time flies when you aren't really expecting or looking forward to anything, and are just living the moment. Amy and I completed two months of courting/dating (whatever it is) today. Two months seems quite less - about 1464 hours. But considering the amout of time we spend with each other, viz about 500 of 1464 hours, it feels like its been 6 months in normal people's world. How has it been? Well, I could explain that in two words - Pretty Awesome. We have got to know so much about each other - likes, dislikes, annoying & lovable habits, pet peeves, strengths & weakness and still exploring. And so as we celebrate our 2nd month with each other, we would like to share this song that we both love.. :)

Happy Birthday Mommy Darling

Today is Amy's mother's birthday and I thought I would do something special for her. Amy's mother is really sweet & adorable. She has been very supportive of our relation right from the beginning. She is a special woman and I can't wait to meet her in person next month. I am pretty sure we would get along well. So in order to make this special woman, feel special on her special day (alright enough of 'specials') I thought of designing her this special card. Though I signed it under Amy's name cause I didn't want her mom to know I designed this for her.. kinda a secret admirer ;)

I dedicate...

we been on a dedication spree since a few days.. everyday since the last few weeks we have been dedicating each other a song. Sometimes I feel its cos we aren't creative enough to compose a song for each other.. haha.. and sometimes just because we really love this song and wanna mean the song to each other. So here are some of the songs that we have been dedicationg to each other..

P.S. Men, you may not like it, its too mushy (and maybe gay) lol

My days are numbered..

I don't know whether its my days or my hair.. but they are surely numbered.. This is pretty much how my face was when I saw Captain Jack's number ringing on my phone. I had no clue what do I do.. whether answer him or not. Anyways I was at a rehearsal, so I told him I would call him back after I was done with the rehearsal. Soon after I was back, I made a quick prayer for wisdom, and called the number back. This was the first time I was talking to Sir Jack Sparrow (see how im addressing him 'Sir' now lol). He was quite polite, but spoke slow, with every word weighing 100 pounds coming out of his mouth with authority. He asked me general questions like how I was? and what I did? and stuff.. It was quite cool actually. The call lasted for 10mins unlike the one with Charly Brown. I hope I made a good impression.. Guess we gotta wait and watch...

Update (June 4th): I just got filled in by Amy that Sir Jack Sparrows was quite impressed with me on the call. Said he found me "nice & innocent boy" and was looking forward to meet me... Yay!!!!! ;P

Hello!! Captain Jack Sparrow here..

Today we completed one month of courtship. It feels like a year already.. haha.. I guess things are moving forward a bit. Surprisingly my dad got a call from Amy's father - Captain Jack Sparrows today. Captain Jack was an ex navy man, now is a pirate on the black pearl. He comes home once every six months when his vodka supplies are over. hahaha.. alright jokes apart.. Captain Jack is an ex navy man.. now retired.. lives in a lil town in Cochin. The last portuguese colony in the sub continent of India. The conversation between both the dads seem to go quite well... The Captain might cast down his anchor in Mumbai port sometime in July. Lets cross our fingers and hope for the best.. ;)

Personal Entertainment Time!!

This week has been terrible.. I have not been keeping well and hence have been at home. But its a great time of bonding for Amy and me.. we are on Skype most of the times. Today I got a bad sore throat but I still played guitar and sang a couple of songs for Amy.. :)

Some of her favorites that I performed her are here below.. hope you enjoy them.. :)

Big Brother Calls..

Its been a couple of weeks since we been courting now, and its going absolutely wonderful. But just like every love story isnt complete without some bumps on the road, without a tragedy, without some adventure, two lovers can not be true unless there is a villian involved in their story.. haha.... Well this isn't a villian, but yeah Amy's big brother Charlie called me today. He was pretty cool... asked me about what I do, when I do, why I do, how I do.. lolol.. the call lasted for 45 mins.. I think I did pretty good.. lets see what does Mr. Charlie Brown have to say...

wanna reconsider??

Amy and I became good friends in the last few days. Initially she found it ackward so blocked me out of her chat list. But two days later she unblocked me again. And we have been talking again. I have been very open about my life with Amy. She pretty much knows what I do, who I meet and what I eat?? I have even told her about how I wasn't sure about Lucy and I was struggling to hold onto the relation as we werent compatible at all. So I finally told Amy that I called it off with Lucy. Amy was surprised but hoped Lucy would get better. After all only a woman can understand another woman.

Then I did something really strange.. I asked Amy, if she would like to reconsider us both together again? If she would like to see how things go? She was more than delighted to accept my proposal.. So today we kinda got into courtship, trying to explore each other and see how compatible we are.. hope she is the one.. :)

It had to end..

I don't know what to write about today... I called it off with Lucy... Compatability issues was the reasons I gave to her. She didn't buy it at first and we argued for quite a bit. I was trying to be patient. I didn't wanna hurt her more than she already is. She told me she was in love with me and its difficult. At some point I felt I was responsible entirely for this. But then I never expressed my feelings towards her, I never told her I loved her. We been just getting to know each other.. Breaking Up is always the difficult part. Its more difficult if they were your friends first and you wish you can stay as friends post break up too... By the end of the day Lucy was fine, she believes maybe it wasn't meant to be. I know she isnt fine, but I really hope she would get better soon.

Back from the tour...

From the flight today morning at 6am

I got back from Rajasthan today morning at bout 7am. Pretty insane weekend we had there.. in the last 50 hours, managed to sleep only for 5 hours in all. It's been quite a fun and adventurous trip. I have been in touch with Lucy all the days on phone. Spent quite a few hours everyday talking to her. But I guess I missed Amy more. Amy wrote to me before I left, saying she would miss me when I am gone. And I promised her I would try to make it on the chat as soon as I get some internet connection. But I was too busy to find an internet connetion. I was more than happy to me back, not that I get to talk to Lucy more but that I will be able to meet Amy on chat. I am still confused about Lucy. Cos we are so different from each other. She speaks different, is from a different culture, different upbringing, different food, different reasoning.. everything is different. On the other hand I am getting more comfortable with Amy. I wish I was more sorted in my head...

Missing...

I didn't hear from Amy for two days until today. I guess she didn't want to talk to me after I had blew her off. But I am more than happy to have heard from her today. Cos I never really thought il get to talk to her again. So this is really good. I am very happy. We chatted for a couple of hours. It was really comforting talking to her again. I am heading off to Rajasthan for a show tomorrow, will be back only by Sunday. I am sure gonna miss talking to her while I am out of town.

End of a beginning

After talking to Amy for three days I really began to like her. I told her every little dirty secret about my life, trying to drive her away from me. But I guess the more honest I was, the more she began to like who I am. Even I have begun to like her but I am with Lucy. This doesn't seem right. I have already mentioned about Amy to Lucy and she didn't like it so much. She asked me to maintain a distance from Amy. So I thought I'll stop beating around the bush and not give her any hope for a future with me. I was trying to avoid her since yesterday but she kept messaging me on Facebook asking me if I was alright. I was really tempted to write to her and talk to her. I tried my best to ignore and stay away but I couldn't. So I finally came on gtalk and began chatting with her. I wasn't really sure what I was doing or what I wanted to do but I told her about Lucy. I told her that I was sorry but I didn't give her any hopes for the future if it wasn't mean to be. I asked Amy if we could still be friends. Poor Amy who had begun to like me, was really upset. She told me she couldn't be my friend now but wished me luck with Lucy. She sounded genuine and I knew I was gonna lose a good friend. So I continued talking to her, asking her questions so that she can reply to them and still continue to talk to me.

I don't know if what I am doing is right. But I feel I am gonna lose a good friend. A friend that I have just known for three days yet feels its been three decades that we have known each other.